(no subject)

[angriestman]

He's tuned to it - the baby wakes in the night and so does he. He's gotten into the habit of waking up every time Rachel needs to do a feed. He gets up and he gets her anything he needs and then he takes over things like winding and putting Jess back down so that Rachel can go back to sleep.

Only, tonight, he can't Jess to settle.
It hasn't been that long but it actually feels like he' been wailing for hours.

"Hey, man," says Raylan, softly. "C'mon, now..."

Comments

[sluttylyingliar]

Maybe we wait a few more hours and take him if he won't eat?" she says unsurely. She doesn't havea clue. "Let me see if he'll eat. Seems bad if he gets dehydrated.

She settles down on their oversized porch recliner.

[angriestman]

"Yeah, okay," he says, leaning against the rail and staying close as she settles in the chair. "It might just be wind, right? He didn't puke or anything when I winded him so maybe he's uncomfortable and he can't figure out why?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"I don't know, I think he's got a fever," she says, pulling down her top just enough for Jess to latch on. He squirms and fusses but ultimately starts eating. "I think it's a virus or, fuck I don't know. An ear infection? I think I read about those in one of those books Danny gave us."

She rests her head against the high back of the chair and closes her eyes with a sigh. "Are we bad at this or does no one know what they're doing?"

[angriestman]

"Nobody knows what they're doing first time out," he says, gently, hand resting against the top of her head for a moment as he watches Jess eat. "Everybody figures it out as they go. We're not bad at this, Rachel - we're doing the best we can. He'll be fine and we'll figure it out."

[sluttylyingliar]

"I know I'm not supposed to think this," she starts, voice hushed and eyes still closed. "But sometimes I feel like he deserves more in a mother. I know you don't think that about be but sometimes I do."

[angriestman]

"Stop," says Raylan, his hand still against her hair. "You're fantastic at this. I never expected this out of you."

He shifts, perching on the arm of the chair, his arm around her. "We can do this."

[sluttylyingliar]

She sniffs a little and leans her head against his shoulder, smoothing back Jess's fluffy, red hair. "I love you. And it's scary how much I love him. It feels like I carved my heart out and gave it to this tiny person. Like it's just wandering around unprotected."

[angriestman]

"It's not unprotected," he says, gently, dropping another kiss into her hair. "Because I'm right here, and nothing I can help is ever going to happen to you while I'm here."